-"A Dream is a Wish," Cinderella 1950
I saw the new Cinderella movie tonight, and I was just the picture of absolute joy. It was everything that I ever hoped for in a live-action Cinderella and more! I started clapping with the movie audience when the dance between the Prince and Ella ended, I was so into it! It was just magnificent and I wanted to watch it all over again! Thank you, Adania, for going with me! Watching that movie with you is the best thing thats happened to me in a long time. I wish it could have lasted forever. Cinderella would have definitely understood my joy of being free of work!I'm always working these days. I'm almost always at the zoo. I've been working full time hours since February and haven't had much of a break since. (That choir tour was NOT a break!) I love my job there, and I have the best co-workers in the world, but I do miss my friends terribly. We're in different worlds now that I've graduated. It's not fun, but I had been preparing myself for it for a while. Summer hours are about to start at the zoo, so there will be a lot less time for me.
I also picked up a job at the Cracker Barrel this January, and it has been a great learning experience, but not always with the best experiences themselves. I like the change of pace from the quiet zoo to the bustling kitchen, and the tips are AWESOME! It's incredibly rewarding to carry home cash and then put it in a special place. But my heart isn't in the Cracker Barrel.
For many months now all of my heart has been in my princessing business, Simply Ever After Entertainment. It has had extreme lows and thrilling highs, but always leaves me in a tizzy of activity and planning. I have notebooks filled with lists and prices. Etsy pages saved with wigs and shoes and ideas. Pinterest pages with how to wear fake eyelashes, how to clean wigs, and party ideas. Envelopes filled with receipts from business purchases. Now, what's a princessing business? Essentially, we (the princesses/actors) attend events and parties as entertainment for children. We read stories, play games, and help with gifts and such. I have huge dreams for this business. Nearly as impossible as all my other dreams have been.
My current trial feels very much like Cinderella's quest to attend the ball. She wasn't looking for a prince. She was looking for one moment to escape her life of servanthood. In the 1950's version she says that her midnight curfew doesn't matter. "It's more than I ever hoped for." And in this last film she says, "That's more than enough time." She wasn't looking for a forever or a marriage. Just a moment. To be who she really was. To be free. Then the stepsisters and stepmother destroy her mother's dress. Her chance. And she wants to give up.
My dream doesn't involve a ball, but it does involve many dresses. And princesses. My dream for several months now has been March 28th. Since late January I have been planning a photo shoot of all my characters. It was the only date that worked with everyone, and gave me enough time to edit photos and get prints made and banners designed before our big summer event, FamilyFest.
FamilyFest has over a 1,000 visitors each summer, and we are scheduled to attend. This is HUGE. I signed a contract and everything. I felt like a real business! I am a real business! Not long after that I bought my business name for the state of South Dakota, and set up a business bank account. We were going to be a real business! We were going to be princesses! Months have passed, and we have had one party. It was fun, and quite the learning experience! And after it was over, we waited. And waited. We got a gig with the woman in charge of FamilyFest to stand with their table at a Stampede game. Sounds fun! We get to read to the K-1st graders at Sioux Falls Christian the day after that. Yay! And then the photo shoot. That March 28th date. Because we need those photos. We need to give our advertisement to FamilyFest. We have a deadline.
Death struck the scene. No, not Cinderella's father, but our Cinderella/Rapunzel's grandfather. Our hearts go out to the Wahl family and I know this is hard. Cinderella/Rapunzel needs to be with her family. There is no question in that. But we're down a princess.
We found another Cinderella, and Rapunzel's fabric was back-ordered, so alls well that ends well, right? No. My Belle got called into a play rehearsal and has been told she must be there. I'm down two princesses. And our seamstress, who is a miracle worker and the kindest woman, can't get some of the costumes due to shipping issues and other rentals. We can't help that.
I cried like a baby about it all. I cried like Cinderella in the garden. See, this date was a lot more than just a photo shoot for me. This was the complete vision of what this business could be. It was this beautiful vision of color and Disney magic. It was going to be the glorious escape from my work filled world in the cinders and soot, and my chance to have my dream. My Disney dream. The dream I've had for years. Many people don't know this, but the very day I applied to the Disney College Program, I was rejected. One online quiz on what you'd like to be involved in, and it was done. There is no space for you here. Have a magical Day. You do not belong with Disney.
It was harsh, sudden, and heartbreaking. That was it. There was no going back, no chance for another shot. That was it. I was not going to be part of Disney.
This business is my way of having a part of that dream. I can be surrounded by the kindest and most beautiful princesses I know. I can be Belle whenever I want. I can watch Cinderella read a story, and I can watch Anna laugh. I can play make believe with Peter and dance with Rapunzel. I can have a bit of the Disney magic all my own, and I treasure that more than anything. Completely apart from my chance to escape my jobs for a couple hours, it was a chance to have my dream.
As of tonight, I lost another princess to a wedding commitment, and what can you do? They need to be there too. There's nothing I can do. I'll have what I have Saturday, and I'll have to treasure that small bit of happiness. I want my glass slipper to fit, and to be able to hold my dreams in my hands. I want my rainbow to come smiling through. Or else I'll have to find a new dream.
The brightest part of this, my real rainbow shinning through, is that in the long run, we will be fine. There will (God willing) be other chances, other opportunities, and new dawns. God is good. All the time, God is good. Even when my dream is taking longer to be realized than I had wanted. And the Lord is so much better than any Fairy Godmother! Now all I can do is close my eyes and dream, and pray that God will continue loving this Disney distracted child of his, even when I don't deserve it.
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