Why should I care?
I may not have a dime
But I got street savoire faire."
- Dodger, "Oliver and Company," 1988
Oliver and Company is a very underrated Disney movie. It's themes of loyalty and love are beautifully portrayed, and Billy Joel did an amazing job as Dodger. This was one of the first movies (for Disney) that had a famous person take a lead role. Like Mandy Moore with Rapunzel's movie. And it totally paid off.
I love that there are obvious worries that the people and the animals have in this movie. When are they going to eat? How are they going to get enough money to pay off their debts? How can they stay together? When will Mom and Dad come back to me? How can I make things better? The plot is so real.
Worry is something every single person has felt. What do they think of me? What should I wear? How can I make it til my next paycheck? How can I feed my kids? These questions eat at us and take us away from enjoying the life we've been given. They are normal worries. Some of theses are silly worries, and others are serious. But that doesn't mean that they don't all tear away at our joy.
I don't know if you've been hanging around my Facebook post lately, but we've recently had a story done on my princessing business. We were so excited when the reporter called to ask if she could do the story. How cool is that? I mean, we're going to be on the NEWS! But yet...
Our business, and all other businesses like ours, deal with the messy business of copyright. We try to stay under the radar. We try to be careful. How close can we be to the accepted version? We try to make characters our own versions, with obvious differences to separate us from other companies. We have to ask this, or else be accused of copyright infringement. And then I will have a cease and desist letter at my door. It's a serious thing to be aware of, and it hurts me when others think we are being ignorant and stupid about the whole thing. We're not stupid. Believe me, we are well aware of all this. But let's be real. No one is going to accept a Cinderella in a green gown.
There are hundreds of these little businesses all around the US. We are just one of them, and a very small one at that. And we all live in constant fear of the C&D letter. I don't believe a single one of us is in this for the money. And there's not much money in it. We are all about bringing joy and love to children. But when yet another Facebook post calls you out and tells you how you're doing something horribly wrong, it hurts. It makes me sick to my stomach. My main ladies are so worried as well, because they love this. For some of them, it gives them a purpose, or is the one constant thing in their life. It's something that can bring them joy in the midst of this world. But that letter could come.
We live in constant fear. What if this happens?
I think lots of people feel this way about certain things in life. I know myself that I am worried about everything. I'm worried about staying healthy, having enough money to pay my employees. I'm worried about my different schools and how long I can keep up the circus. I worry about certain students and how I can possibly help them when I'm not there. I worry about how I'm going to keep up this business and teach. I'm worried about so much.
Today the business held their auditions, and we had a great turn out! I was so happy with the list of actresses and the actor, and I wanted to see what they could do! But there comes some more worry. My cast is made up of my friends right now. They know me and they know how much I'm doing and they are all about keeping the business afloat. They love me, and they loved me before all of this began. But these new people are expecting to work. But they won't get a lot of gigs. They are expecting to keep this job a long time. But it might have to end. They expect to be paid. But if we get that evil letter, we may have to do charity work. And that's not paid.
Each and every moment is surrounded by some kind of worry.
I love when Dodger sings, "Why Should I Worry." I feel like it's a great song for his character. Because he's got street smarts, and he knows that worrying will get you no where. He knows who he can rely on, and he knows how to rely on himself as well. We've got someone to rely on too.
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?- Matthew 6:26
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
I forget. All the time. I get so consumed by my worry that I forget I have someone to turn to that knows every heart. I forget that He knows exactly what's up. He is the God that gives and takes away, and I have to trust Him with everything I have, That includes my business.
Off and on I wonder if God really wants me to be doing this princess thing. I mean, Disney has been called my obsession by a fair number of people, even though it is not. But I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't take up a huge amount of my time. Time I should be spending on my students and my relationship with God. And I begin to wonder if or when God is going to take this away from me.
God had a hand in our KELOland story. We felt it, we know several people were praying for something to happen. It was a God thing. And I feel like God would not have given us this opportunity just to take away everything we've worked for with something that was supposed to be good. But that fear is still there. What if God wants to take away the thing that drives me crazy, but brings me so much joy, and joy to others?
But I have to trust and obey. Because there is no other way.
It will have to be a daily surrender. I will have to remind myself constantly that nothing is mine. Because I can't worry like this anymore. And if the evil letter comes, we can find a way to still bring joy. Because we know that God loves us with or without our business, our wigs, or our costumes. He loves that we love His children. He will take care of us. Not always in the way we want, but in the way we need. And I think I can trust Him with that.
"Why should I worry?
Why should I care?
I may not have a dime,
but I am His and He is mine.