"Lack of Education"

You listen good to I, because it's either education or elimination!Now, if you're so foxy and old Chief is so dumbThen why does that hound get the fox on the run?'Cause he's got the hunter -and the hunter's got the gunKa-blam, elimination!Lack of education!- "Elimination-Lack of Education," Fox and the Hound

This is a random collection of thoughts that I can't seem to get off my mind and I just want to share.  I've been feeling lonely and then don't want to be bothered in turns, so that leaves me very contemplative. 

Education.  I've kinda had enough of it.  At least, the observing part.  I've just completed my... 10th-ish day of class, and I'm just hoping the next week passes quickly.  It's not that I don't like the school, Mrs. Knox, or even the educational field.  It's just that I've been put outside my comfort zone for too long and I'm feeling it.  I've heard the sermons about how that's good, and as Christians we should be outside our comfort zones, but this doesn't seem like one of those situations.  

It's one thing helping at AGWSR.  I know how everything works, and since 90% of people know my family, they're always willing to help or let me know what's going on.  Things are organized, and have a system.  The teachers aren't afraid to ask me to help in specific ways.  It's 100% opposite at Starmont.  Mrs. Knox is great and all that jazz, but I have been so confused of what's expected of me.  And I'm a person that HAS to have something to do 24/7 or else I zone out.  I've been reading on my phone in the classes that I do nothing in.  I have NO idea if she's upset by this or not. I finally talked to Autumn about it last night and she said that it probably does bother her.  I won't do it again.  I tried knitting one day, but high school students instantly put you on their 'odd' list when you do things like that.  So probably not the best idea.  The student's projects are almost all independent projects, and I just don't know how to help.  If someone was to ask for advice, I could do it, but no one ever does.  Except in painting class and that's a pain in the butt.  I presented my artwork last monday, and the students are supposed to do a piece reflected off of it.  And I don't know how to get them to do it in the right direction.  Like, for instance, there's a gal that is coloring a landscape in graphite, but she swears to me it's watercolor.  It's a graphite pencil. If I'm wrong, great for her, but I'm still confused.  I also have a whole row of guys that were going to paint Nike and Fox symbols until Mrs. Knox caught them and made them at least print them, since I taught about printmaking.  There's also a gal that practically wants me to do her piece for her.  All I tell her now is to 'just go for it,' 'it's your piece not mine!' It doesn't help that I honestly, with no disrespect, thing she paints like a 5th grader.  I'm also frustrated with the lack of supplies and the fact that NOTHING is organized! It's all piled higldy-pidgely. I'm not a very organized person, but people can at least FIND stuff! There's a layer of dirt on almost everything, and I'm sure that the fire code is being broken in at least 10 different ways.  I just want them to have the real art experience, but Mrs. Knox just doesn't teach that way, and I can't change that.  I just have to learn from her.  I am learning, but I wish it was in a greater way.

Anyway, I'm just frustrated over all.  I don't like not knowing what's expected of me.  Can't help it, so might as well just get through it.  

In other news, I'm on my 4th day with no hearing in my left ear.  It's VERY frustrating.  Like everything else in my life right now.  It skews your perspective on where sound is coming from, and you can't focus on a conversation.  It also heightens your feelings of isolation because you can't hear anyone else.  I'm so used to it now that I can't even really tell if I can hear again or not.  I just want to hear.  

My cousin Courtney had her baby today, named Hayden Hartwig.  Good news.  But the paintings she was having me do for the nursery aren't done. Shoot.

Grandpa isn't doing so hot.  There's a lot of things going on this weekend, and I have been told that I HAVE to visit Grandpa before heading home.  It seems like no one but Aunt Nancy knows what's going on.  But no one will contact her.  Families are frustrating aren't they? 

Frustration.  Too bad Disney hasn't done a rendition on that.  I just pray for peace, and that everything will work itself out.  It will eventually, right?