Friendship

In the Chinese Zodiac, I am a goat.  One of the traits of a 'goat' is loyalty.  That means that I hold my friendships tightly.  If I decide to be your friend, I will do whatever I can in my power to make your life better.  That's just how I am. And when these friends hurt me, it's a very deep hurt.

South Dakota is where my college is, and it was hard to move out here.  I knew only one person in the entire state, and she was a very busy soul.  I depended on my friends back home to fill the void of loneliness I had been thrust into.  And yet there was nothing.  I would go weeks without a text message, without a Facebook post, and without a single call.  I tried to get by.  I made a few friends.  But that pain would not go away.  I finally got a couple messages from one friend.  I wanted to know why I wasn't hearing from one friend.  Let's call her Sasha. 

Now, in high school me and Sasha liked the same boy.  She liked him first, of course.  I only got interested after she got me to look at him.  Neither of us ever did a thing to go for him, but we always liked him.  She would get teased something awful, because her crush was a lot more obvious than mine.  At least, that's what I liked to believe.  Not sure if it's true.  But upon finding out, after a semester, that my chosen college was a piece of crap, my friend Aubri told me of USF, and it sounded like a dream come true.  This school also happened to be where this boy ended up going.  I didn't care, but apparently Sasha did.  She was furious with me because I was 'chasing' him. 

In my friendships, I've learned to share everything.  My friends know me so very well.  They know some things that only my immediate family knows about me.  They know things that my family doesn't know about me.  The should know me well enough to know I would not go chasing this boy.  They should know. 

Now it's been a year since I learned of Sasha's fury, but I didn't expect the rest of the "Society," as my pretend brother Kendal called us, to completely disown me based on a simple distance.  This "Best Friends Forever" fantasy isn't all it's cracked up to be.  

Now, the reason why these feelings are so fresh and new, a year later, is because the scabs have been ripped off, and the lay bleeding once more.  The pretend 'mi hermana' of Sasha, is getting married.  She's 18 years old, known the guy for less than a year.  Now that wouldn't mean a thing to me if she had told me she was engaged.  Know how I found out?? I got a wedding invite ON FACEBOOK! I go from hugging her why she cried, explaining biblical truths, cheerleading, proms, camping trips, Lifelight trips, and car rides to a simple Facebook invite.  This 'goat' feels like her horns have been ripped out.  

I don't know if these people I've mentioned bother to look at my Facebook anymore, but if they bother to read this, I hope they know that I'm a 'goat.'  I'm loyal to the end.  But I'm a hurting goat, and while I forgive you, this goat wishes for an apology. 

All my other friends out there, I could use a hug, verbal or physical :(

Accident Prone

I've finally figured out how huge the difference in medical care in Ackley, IA compared to Sioux Falls, SD.  I had a chiropractor appointment set up today, because my lower back was really hurting last night.  I was supposed to get in again after my accident, but I was unable to because I had to be back at school.
So I go to this appointment, and it took 20 minutes almost to fill out all the paperwork.  I was so frustrated, because I had a friend drive me to the doctor, and she needed to be somewhere and I needed to be somewhere.  I get into his office, and I tell him about my accident.  Of course, he was super surprised by my story.  Not many people can get hit by a Semi going 35 miles an hour and live to tell the tale.  I told him I had one adjustment, and then he asked about x-rays.  X-rays?? I've never had an X-ray! He was just blown away.  He was actually upset that I had never had an x-ray!

 Now, if you know me, I am incredibly accident prone.  And while they were taking 7 x-rays of my neck, I couldn't help but think about all of these accidents I've had.  When I was 7-ish, my mom's van got rear ended.  I had to go to the hospital because I had neck pain.  I still get random neck spasms from this accident.
When I was 15, I went to Hidden Acres summer camp as an assistant horse wrangler.  I was on a trail ride as a supervisor, when my horse, Skip, saw a fox.  The horse got scared and bolted, leaving me behind.  I was knocked out for a couple seconds, and was told I had a mild concussion.  Never went to the doctor, even though I stayed at camp another week.   Never got x-rays.  Never got treatment.  (That freaked out this current doctor even more).
Then when I was 16, I wrecked my first van.  I wasn't wearing my new contacts, and I thought I had plenty of time to turn in front of this person.  (It turned out to be my middle school band instructor, how embarrassing!) Obviously it wasn't.  I got one chiro treatment.  No X-rays.
I swear that there's more stories of ridiculous injuries I've gotten, but for right now the only one I have left is my current accident at the age of 20.  I only had time to go to the chiropractor once, but I still had no X-rays.

Apparently all of these things are necessary for healing, or else I'll have arthritis in a year.  I don't want that.  After his initial examination, they had me lay on a water massage table while they got the X-rays, then had my back crunched.  Before the doctor would crack anything he went through exactly what happens to your muscles when you have sudden impact.  Took forever.  But then we looked at my X-rays and I now understand why this is all important.

So my right leg is an inch shorter than my left, because of the angle my hips are currently in.  My neck is supposed to be curved like a letter "c." Right now it looks like a slanted line.  So I have to get some work done!

I have to go back 10 times in the next month.  Ridiculous.  They even gave me a stinkin' pillow!! I have a pillow! Gosh darnit! I find this whole situation absolutely hilarious and not funny all at the same time. If you know anyone who has a free hour on MWF's, hit me up! I need rides to the chiropractor!

Future

College is a hard thing to understand.  We are paying for an education that we may or may not use in our future.  Who knows if you really will be a teacher?  What do you even do with an English major?  What do you do with a music minor? What are you really here for?

I have such a massive Disney obsession.  But it's heartfelt.  I don't joke about Disney Animation.

After just finishing watching the "How It Was Made" videos on Sleeping Beauty, I am once again floored on how much goes into these masterpieces.  I've currently watched the backstage information on Sleeping Beauty, The Lion King, and Beauty and the Beast, and each time I am just overcome with awe.  When I saw the Beauty and the Beast documentaries, I cried.  I was so amazed, and I wanted to do what these artists had done so badly... It sounds so silly, I know, but I cried.  Did you know that the "I Know You" portion of Sleeping Beauty cost over 10,000 dollars? It took them over a year to make it come alive, and now, to me, it's one of the most iconic Disney scenes.  Beauty and the Beast used to have an entire different storyline with no music.  Then they brought in real Broadway singers and the movie changed.  Did you know that The Lion King had to be put together in garages of the animators because there had been an earthquake, blocking many from the studio?  To hear the documentary speakers say that this kind of animation is dead makes me want to cry as well.  I don't want to see the animation that's out today! I want to see real artwork!! Stuff that really means something to all generations.

I want to work for Disney SO very badly.  I get on their website once in a while to see what positions are open.  Right now the ones I want aren't open, but hey, I got 2 and a half years of schooling yet! On the animation site they link summer internships and talent development seminars.  I want to go for the internship so very badly.  Too bad I'm terrified of living in California.  But working with Disney animators would make my entire life.  I've wanted to write a novel before, and I've wanted to be on Broadway.  I've wanted to be a straight up singer, and I've wanted to be a songwriter.  But I have never wanted anything as much or as long as I've wanted to be a part of a Disney creation.  I want to go to the 8 week internship at the Disney studios for a summer sometime soon.  I'll have to give up camp.  Some or all of a summer.  I have to work towards a real job sometime, right? If anyone would like to see the site where I'm getting this information, it's here:
http://www.disneyanimation.com/careers/student_programs.html

*Sigh* Well, first goal, save enough money to live in California for 8 weeks!

My E-Bay Problem

When I returned home from Europe, I was bored out of my mind.  I had cleaned the whole house and it was driving me crazy.  I then decided I was going to get on Ebay and try my hand at selling things.  My dad has told me for over a year and a half that he will get on Ebay and sell my college books.  I decided I was going to do it for him.  I looked up everything, made sure I wasn't going to make a stupid mistake (I tend to make those often) and I put up for Auction and Buy Now my Music Appreciation textbook.  I got so excited after that that I put up my Music Sight Singing book and my Communications book.  I was a little nervous after this, because I wasn't sure if my dad had really wanted to do this himself.  So when he called later that day, I told him what I had done, and to my surprise, he was super happy about it!! He told me he was proud, which just made my day!  Not even a day later one of my books sold for 40 dollars and I was over the moon!  Yay money I didn't have before!

But now I've run into a snag.

Have you ever looked into everything that's on Ebay? They have EVERYTHING!  And to combine this with a Pinterest account, you have an extreme problem.  I found an idea on Pinterest that has the binding of books on a wooden box, so you can put it on your shelf, and no one knows it's a box! Isnt' that neat???! Now, my plan is to combine it with the tutorial I found on how to cut a hollow in a book, and turn it into a book box, literally.  Then it's a complete hidden box!!

So now I'm watching about 5 different Black Stallion books that are at 99 cents.  (How I'm going to bear to cut holes in the books that formed my middle school childhood I have no idea). How I'm going to magically come up with this money I have no idea of either.

Ebay is also home to a million different Disney things.  Seeing that this blog is supposed to be based off of my obsession for Disney, this is finally going to explain things.  I found a treasure trove last night, and it's threatening to take all of my money.  First off, my original search was for Bambi fleece.  I had some when I was in middle school, and it got ruined, and I've had my eye out for it ever since.  It was nowhere to be found.  But then I found a Bambi stuffed animal.  IT IS SO CUTE!! I will be so excited if I win it!!! But why on earth do I need a Bambi stuffed animal?? I'm 20 years old!! ... I have no idea.

The best thing of all that I've managed to find, however, are Disney movie posters.  I currently have one of Mulan, Bambi, and one of Beauty and the Beast 3D on it's way from Disney Movie Rewards.  They have it all!!! From 10 dollars to 20, and they're all in great condition.  I am definitely going to have to try to control myself.  I won't get paid for weeks.  And how sad would it be to spend your paycheck on a Disney movie poster when you don't even have a vehicle to get to see a Disney movie in theaters??? Or even a TV to watch real Disney movies?!

Hopefully I can contain myself with the thought of my poor van and the knowledge that my insurance is going to go up...

CURSE YOU EBAY!

My Poor Van :(

I am really going to miss my van :'(

The Upside of What May Be the Downside

I am so excited for this Spring semester!  Things are going well, despite the whole thing getting off to a rough start with having to catch a ride with my high school and college classmate Nathan Lippert.  Not that that's a bad thing,  I just like my driving time jamming out to my Annie soundtrack, Wicked Soundtrack, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift.... all those fun things. :) Things are going right though, and I feel like I should list them as future reference when the semester starts getting bad.  (I have terrible Irish luck, so I know it's bound to go bad)

1.  I was able to have a normal conversation with someone who I have not had a good conversation with in 2 years, and I wouldn't even call that one good conversation.  It was a nice change.

2.  I'm now a writer for the school newspaper.  Randomly went to a meeting this morning and got all signed up for an advice column!  I always wanted to be a writer, and I've had people tell me to do so... now I get too! And get paid as well, which is nice, since I now can't go get my job at the zoo :( ...)

3. I work with the coolest people in the world with tele-counseling!! It may be work but with these people it rarely feels like work :D

4.  I got a card from Katie Strupp today!! WITH A CHECK! Those Pray! shirts were one of the top ten stupidest things I have ever done.  But I love mine, I love seeing people wearing them, and I'm so glad to finally have all the money in for them.  I still owe 3 people a shirt and one person money.... need to get on that...

5. I ordered my Beauty and the Beast poster!! I thought about letting my Belle Keepsake box go back up on Disney Movie Rewards, but I found it on Ebay for like, 11 dollars, and I'm going to try to win it.  I would have had to buy two more movies to get it anyway... stupid points... At least Mulan and Bambi can have some company on my wall.  I don't think they like Justin Bieber very well!

6.  I am officially a Junior in college!! That's so weird... Thank you J- Term!

7.  Rachel Olsen is such a wonderful friend!! She drove me to Wal-Mart yesterday and let me get groceries.  All I had was some Sunny D and VERY moldy bread left in my room after vacation... Not exactly healthy to live on... Rachel is my best friend here and she's so full of God! I saw God use her as a tool right there in a Wal- Mart aisle!  It's nice to know people like her are in the world :)

8.  My room smells AWESOME!  I got a Scentsy fire-less candle thingie and it smells AMAZING!  I got it for Christmas.

9.  I have so few classes!  I'm used to 3, boom boom boom, 3 days a week in the morning, with more in the afternoon, and classes on the other 2 days of the basic work week as well.  I had 3 classes today,
spread out, and plenty of nap time!!  I have 2 classes tomorrow, and one is Choir! Ha! I love this!  And painting class is going to be like I died and went to heaven! A-mazing!

10.  The last great thing about this semester, and my whole life, is that even when I have something terrible happen, I always know God will swing it around in His own time.  He will always see me through.  My insecurities are arrogance.  Is He not big enough? Not great enough?

The sun will come out

Tomorrow

So you gotta hang on til tomorrow

There'll be sun

Just thinking about 

Tomorrow

clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow

til there's none

When I'm stuck with a day

that's grey and lonely

I just stick up my chin

and grin 

and say, oh

The sun will come out Tomorrow!