"And for once it might be grand to have someone understand. I want so much more than they've got planned..."
-Belle (Reprise), Beauty and the Beast, 1991
Before the tidal wave that was the Frozen phenomenon, many girls of our age would have said Belle was the best princess. She had books, cleverness, and was brave. She was beautiful, but not in a 'classic' way. She didn't care about money or riches. She was also able to see into the heart of the Beast, and learn to love him for everything that he is and was. Who wouldn't want to look up to a person like that, fictional or no?
I think there's another great reason Belle was, and is, such an admired character. She spoke words that so many girls related too. Those smart girls that never seemed to have it all together. The ones that wanted an "adventure in the great wide somewhere." Wouldn't it be grand to have someone understand?
I recently visited Iowa for a crazed weekend of driving and listening. I listened a lot. And I was struck by something that encompasses everything about humanity. We are all searching to be understood. We want someone to look and us and know what has happened and what we're going through and make it better. We want someone to understand us and tell us what we did wrong, because we can't figure it out ourselves. We want someone else to understand us so they can explain it back, because we sure can't understand ourselves. Why do you think social media is so very popular? We are begging people to reach out and take our hands. Someone to listen and understand. We have statuses and tweets and blogs and reality shows and magazine articles and a million other sources into people's lives. Doesn't anyone understand?
I think we can all claim to have that one Facebook or Twitter friend that is always posting the most over-the-top, cry-baby messages that make you want to give them a wake up call. A reality check. Or they're just begging to be deleted. What I find more sad, is that they feel like they have to cry out to a computer screen to be heard. And even though hundreds of eyes fall on that message or tweet, they still remain unreached or ignored. All these people need is someone to understand them. To be given time. Some people beg for attention. But what turned them into that? What made them so desperate?
There was once I time I was going through a bit of a rough patch. I was about to explain myself when this friend says, "Everyone has a sob story and I don't want to hear it." At the time, I was first shocked by the response. Usually people that claim friendship at least pretend to listen. Granted, I hadn't seen him in some time, but ouch! A while later I wondered if his way was the right way. Everyone has a sob story. Everyone has something they've gone through. If I didn't take in the stories of these people, maybe I wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe life would be simpler if we just continued day by day thinking of ourselves and stopped dragging behind the luggage of others. The things we can't fix, but wish we could?
It took some time, but I now feel incredibly sorry for this boy. He will never be able to understand someone. He will never make someone feel understood. He has no compassion.
This same weekend of the driving and the listening, I got to attend church with my wonderful sister. There was a sermon about empathy and compassion. The pastor was calling for his congregation to feel compassion for others. To not let things just slip by unnoticed. To have empathy. I did not get a whole lot out of the service, personally. Compassion and empathy are things that I have been very blessed with. I love people very much and very deeply. It makes me very good at customer service I can tell you! When others hurt, I hurt. When I hear people's stories I cry with them. I remember crying with a friend in a convent garden in Italy over such a story. News stories make me cry, some commercials make me cry, Facebook posts make me cry... I love people very, very much. Not as much as God loves, of course, but I do my best. But this sermon was important. Because it reminded me that loving people is what we are called to do. Even when it hurts.
God calls us to do this. To love our neighbors very, very much. Jeremy Camp's "He Knows" came on the radio a couple days ago while I was thinking about understanding and this post. I wanted to be understood, and I forgot there's already someone who understands. All of the billions of people on this earth are understood to the very depths of their being. They just haven't found the one who read the Facebook status before it was written. The one who was right there in the very center. He knows every burden and every stain. He understands.
I wanted to write this to encourage others to reach out to people. Don't let a day go by that you haven't taken the time to tell someone they're worth it, they're wonderful, and that you're proud of them. Life is so short. There's a friend of mine from summer camp that was thrown from her horse and is in critical condition. She just graduated college. Life is so short, and you don't know when it's going to end. Show compassion, and feel empathy. Think about someone else. Do something for someone else. See the Beast's heart for what it really is, and love him. Try to understand. Because that's what we're called to do.
